It's Been a While...

I know I haven't posted in a while, but it's been a crazy couple of months. I'm off my meds - yay!! It's been a rough journey and while I feel so much better, I still have some tough days. I've been supplementing with several natural supplements, first of which is Omega 3. Based on studies they know that Omega 3 is important to brain function. I've also been taking Vitamin D. I was extremely deficient and for some reason have a hard time getting my levels up, so I'll probably have to supplement for a while with this one. The supplement that really helps me get through anxious days is Niacin. Niacin promotes tryptophan production by the body, and tryptophan is helpful with relaxation (remember Turkey at Thanksgiving?), so it's been my lifesaver. I also take Kava Kava as needed for anxiety. Kind of have to watch this one, because you can build up a tolerance to it.

All in all, I feel pretty good. I have a lot going on in my life right now, so it's inevitable that I have some hard days. I enrolled in a program at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, which is amazing. With my desire to help educate people on the importance of good nutrition (and lack thereof in our current food supply), I felt the program was right up my alley, so to speak. It will take a year to complete, but once I'm finished I will be a certified Holistic Health and Wellness Counselor.

Speaking of, I'll need to keep this short. Lots of homework to do. =)

In the meantime, check out this article about how pesticides are linked to ADHD here.

~ Namaste

The Half Way Point

So I'm at the half way point on the withdraw of my meds. It's been a rough week. I'm having really bad withdraw symptoms and am just trying to keep it together. The scariest part is it could take months to get back to "normal." I upped my Omega 3 supplement to over 8 grams per day. It's a lot, but it's helping a lot with the rage episodes I experience. I still feel as if I'm crawling out of my skin. You know that feeling you get when you've had WAY, WAY, WAY too much caffeine?! That's how I feel. Ugh!

I'm going to try to start running again tomorrow. I think that might help. I hope so anyway. I just know that I have to start doing something else to take my mind of the withdraw. Never thought psych drugs (or lack thereof) could make you feel like a total tweeker, but they can.

Have to go study now...

Week 2 On The Supplements

Wow! So far so good. I love the supplements. They are totally helping with my mood. Motivation not so much, but my mood yes!

So I get my bonus money in a week and I plan on buying a treadmill. I can't wait!! The worst part about going to the gym is that to some extent I worry about what I look like. I know that shouldn't be the case, but it is. I'm trying to grow my crazy short hair out and because it is short, it's a disaster in the mornings. Seriously, one side will look fine and the other is sticking out everywhere. Can you say scary?! Not too mention the sweat factor. Come on girls, you all know what I'm talking about. It is not sexy to have sweat marks around your ass cheeks, boobs, belly, etc. So, I'm a little vain, but who isn't?!

Even more important than meeting my vane obsessions is the cost of the gym. It's $65 a month and the treadmill will pay for itself about a year. I need to cut down on my monthly expenses and this is a great way to do just that!

The treadmill that I want is so cool. I'm having a hard time decided between two of them, but am leaning towards this one. Check it out here.

Anyway, I digress... I meet with my doc on Tuesday to go over the titration schedule and get my final script for my meds. It will be a great feeling to no longer have to worry about taking a physically addictive drug anymore. Less money spent on prescriptions and doctors visit (and the gym) is more money that I can spend on other things.

Well, I'm going to keep this short. Have stuff to do around the house. Have a great week everyone.

~ Namaste ~

My First Post Since the Race

Wow, it's been a while! I'm having a difficult time writing this because I haven't run or worked out since Dec. 19th and am feeling a little like a failure. I've been going through a slight bout with depression. I think it's a result of all the health issues I had last year. It's just snowballed despite finally finding and correcting the health problem I was suffering from.

I never have had an addictive personality, but after my surgery I found myself chasing the pain with Percocet. Boy, did I like that drug. I felt so good on it, but I got to the point where I was taking one every hour or two, not the four to six hour period that the dosing instructions recommend. Once I realized what I was doing, I stopped taking it but had a few days of withdraw that sucked. Lots of anxiety, which I hate and have a hard time dealing with. I took Adivan the first few days to sleep and then stopped that and stuck to Benadryl.

So I'm over all that but in the midst of all the drugs, I think I have messed up my antidepressant. I've been so sensitive and agitated lately. On the one hand it's been good, because it has given me an opportunity to reevaluate the people I call friends. People that, I'm not sure why, keep me on a string for those times when no one else is around for them. I've come to the conclusion that some people in my life are truly just Facebook friends. On the other hand, it's easier when the meds are working and I don't care and am not sensitive to what other people think, do, or say.

The God's honest truth is that I don't want to be a slave to the medication anymore. I want to be mentally healthy through diet and exercise. I don't want to worry about picking up my script before I run out or the sober blackouts I experience weekly. I don't want to have to worry about Cymbalta withdraw.

Withdraw from Cymbalta is horrible. I experienced the withdraw a few years ago. I had itchy skin, extreme anxiety, brain zaps, no concentration, sober blackouts, and depression and that was just in the first five days. Because of the effect of Cymbalta on the nervous system it can take months and months to withdraw from the drug. Percocet withdraw is a cakewalk compared to Cymbalta.

I had read about a antidepressant withdraw program on the internet, but when I called I didn't feel very comfortable with the staff I spoke with. Through a blog I found out about another program called Point of Return (POR). It is a non-profit that is run by doctors and volunteers. The staff is available by phone or email and there is a private forum for only those that are enrolled in the program.

You start the program by ordering their natural supplements, patient and physician instructions, and the journal. Everything comes as a package based on the psychiatric dependency. Once you receive the package and have reviewed the instructions you start the supplements for 10 - 14 days. During that period you meet with your physician and give him/her the physician instructions. The physician will then prescribed a titrating dose. The dose may need to be formulated by a compounding pharmacy. That is the point where you start the titration.

OK, OK I'm going on and on and that's just me being scared. It's a scary prospect getting off a drug that I have been taking and dependent on for so long. Part of why I'm writing this is because I plan on keeping my blog updated with my progress over the next few months. I will also post some important information that I think you should all know about the poisons in our food that the FDA doesn't want you to know about. Here's the first one about Aspartame...

Part of my program is exercise, which I want to start again tomorrow. (I'll start tracking my mileage again through my Nike Mini-Me on the front page of my blog.) I haven't been totally sedentary, I've been walking my dogs daily, but I haven't been kicking it at the gym like I was for five months. My hope is the integration of good food, exercise and the POR program will help me to get back to a mentally and physically healthy me!

Well, hope you can keep up with my blog as I go through this transition. Thanks in advance for you prayers, encouragement and support.

~ Namaste