Wow, it's been a while! I'm having a difficult time writing this because I haven't run or worked out since Dec. 19th and am feeling a little like a failure. I've been going through a slight bout with depression. I think it's a result of all the health issues I had last year. It's just snowballed despite finally finding and correcting the health problem I was suffering from.
I never have had an addictive personality, but after my surgery I found myself chasing the pain with Percocet. Boy, did I like that drug. I felt so good on it, but I got to the point where I was taking one every hour or two, not the four to six hour period that the dosing instructions recommend. Once I realized what I was doing, I stopped taking it but had a few days of withdraw that sucked. Lots of anxiety, which I hate and have a hard time dealing with. I took Adivan the first few days to sleep and then stopped that and stuck to Benadryl.
So I'm over all that but in the midst of all the drugs, I think I have messed up my antidepressant. I've been so sensitive and agitated lately. On the one hand it's been good, because it has given me an opportunity to reevaluate the people I call friends. People that, I'm not sure why, keep me on a string for those times when no one else is around for them. I've come to the conclusion that some people in my life are truly just Facebook friends. On the other hand, it's easier when the meds are working and I don't care and am not sensitive to what other people think, do, or say.
The God's honest truth is that I don't want to be a slave to the medication anymore. I want to be mentally healthy through diet and exercise. I don't want to worry about picking up my script before I run out or the sober blackouts I experience weekly. I don't want to have to worry about Cymbalta withdraw.
Withdraw from Cymbalta is horrible. I experienced the withdraw a few years ago. I had itchy skin, extreme anxiety, brain zaps, no concentration, sober blackouts, and depression and that was just in the first five days. Because of the effect of Cymbalta on the nervous system it can take months and months to withdraw from the drug. Percocet withdraw is a cakewalk compared to Cymbalta.
I had read about a antidepressant withdraw program on the internet, but when I called I didn't feel very comfortable with the staff I spoke with. Through a blog I found out about another program called Point of Return (POR). It is a non-profit that is run by doctors and volunteers. The staff is available by phone or email and there is a private forum for only those that are enrolled in the program.
You start the program by ordering their natural supplements, patient and physician instructions, and the journal. Everything comes as a package based on the psychiatric dependency. Once you receive the package and have reviewed the instructions you start the supplements for 10 - 14 days. During that period you meet with your physician and give him/her the physician instructions. The physician will then prescribed a titrating dose. The dose may need to be formulated by a compounding pharmacy. That is the point where you start the titration.
OK, OK I'm going on and on and that's just me being scared. It's a scary prospect getting off a drug that I have been taking and dependent on for so long. Part of why I'm writing this is because I plan on keeping my blog updated with my progress over the next few months. I will also post some important information that I think you should all know about the poisons in our food that the FDA doesn't want you to know about. Here's the first one about Aspartame...
Part of my program is exercise, which I want to start again tomorrow. (I'll start tracking my mileage again through my Nike Mini-Me on the front page of my blog.) I haven't been totally sedentary, I've been walking my dogs daily, but I haven't been kicking it at the gym like I was for five months. My hope is the integration of good food, exercise and the POR program will help me to get back to a mentally and physically healthy me!
Well, hope you can keep up with my blog as I go through this transition. Thanks in advance for you prayers, encouragement and support.
~ Namaste
Monday, February 15, 2010
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Training/Fundraising Update - Finale
Well, I did it...we all did it. We finished the race and it was one of the most amazing experiences I've ever had. As hard as the fund raising was and getting up 4 days a week at 5:00 to go to the gym/practice it was SO worth it! Thanks to my coaches, mentors, teammates, supporters and Michael for all your help and encouragement. Here's how the weekend went...
We got into Vegas around 8:30 a.m. on Saturday, the day before the race. We checked in and then headed to the Expo. The Expo had some great vendors, Team Challenge, CytoMax, Cascade Farms, Nurti Life, Kinesio, and so many more. We had a great time collecting our gear and freebies and afterwards headed back to the hotel to chill. My great friend Nathan stopped by to visit. He had come in town from Vegas to cheer on me and a few other friends! Nathan, if your reading this, you are an awesome friend!! Thanks for being there!
Saturday night was the CCFA Pasta Party. There were over 900 participants from CCFA at the party. It was cool seeing all the Team Challenge shirts at the party and at the MGM where we were all staying. We ate a delicious dinner and listened to our guest speakers while we froze our butts off in the conference center. Little did we know that the party was just a warm up or should I say cool down for what was coming the next morning. The best part of the dinner was hearing that nationwide Team Challenge had raised $3.5 million for the Crohn's and Colitis Foundation. What a win and we hadn't even started the race yet!
Sunday morning came early. We were due to meet our team in the lobby at 5:00 a.m. As we rounded the corner to the lobby all you could see was a sea of orange singlets. Nine hundred Team Challenge participants gathered in the lobby waiting to head out to the starting line and their assigned corrals. The temperature outside was a smokin' 34 degrees. We were in for a chilly start. We layered on as many dri-fit shirts, jackets, and beanies as we had and headed to the starting line.
By the time we reached the start we had probably walked 5 miles over the last 24 hours. If only we could deduct that from the 13.1 we were about to tackle. The walk to the gear check was another mile and the way back was a traffic jam of spectators and other participants trying to get to their corrals. I had to cut through the closer corrals to get to mine or else I would miss my group. Another mile down! Unbelievably, I was able to find my teammates in the sea of participants. Almost forgot to tell you that there were 17,000 participants for the 1/2 marathon and another 11,000 for the full. Not even a boat-load, but rather an ark-load of people!
So my TC friends and I joked, danced, and goofed around until we reached the starting line. It was seriously colder than a polar bears ass and goofing around was the only thing keeping us warm. What was I thinking leaving my gloves at the gear check??!! The start came and went and we were on the road. It was a long 13.1 miles peppered by running Elvis, bands, brides and grooms to be, and a whole lot of Team Challenge supporters cheering us on. We even had the pleasure of watching a drunk guy wander out on the race course only to end up being put in handcuffs and escorted to a police car.
About mile 7 my teammate and favorite party girl Amanda started having some knee problem. Call me selfish, but there was no way I was going to let her quit. We stretched out and kept moving. By mile 9 there was no turning back. We'd stop to stretch and then back on the course. I figured why stop now! Four more miles to go. Piece of cake. The supporters cheering us on totally helped push us along. At mile 13 we ran into our coach Meegan. What a site for sore eyes, quads, hamstrings, you name it!
At the turn into Mandalay Bay we had about 2 tenths of a mile left. It was not long after that I saw Nate waiting near the finish line. My final boost of encouragement! Then we saw it - the finish!! We had done it. We had just completed a 13.1 mile race. What an amazing acheivement!
I headed to the gear check, picked up my gear and met up with Amanda and Nate. We walked over to the Team Challenge team tent for some food and drink from P.F. Changs. Afterwards we headed back to the hotel to rest. We had a big night ahead of us.
Our night out consisted of dinner at Sushi Samba and partying at Lavo in the Venetian. I can always count on Nate to show me a good time! Lavo was a blast. The marathoner's from San Diego met us out and we partied and danced 'til late. About $1,000 later (thank God for the comps Nate's friend hooked us up with) we decided we had better head back to the hotel for some shut eye.
Why is check out at 11:00 a.m.? In Vegas no less? Seriously, why?!! I dragged my ass out of bed, threw my stuff in my suitcase and headed for the lobby. After meeting up with some of our teammates, Amanda and I decided to do the CSI Experience. It was cheesy, but kind of cool. After CSI we stopped for a bite to eat and then off to the airport.
That was it. The weekend that I thought would never come had come and went. It was bitter sweet. Happy that I completed the race and had such an awesome weekend. Sad that I wouldn't see my teammates at practice each Saturday morning. I know that we'll keep in touch, but I'll definitely miss the comradarie that we had going out each Saturday morning at sunrise.
Thanks to my readers for keeping up with my adventures. I hope you've enjoyed my updates and pictures. I'd like to keep up the blog with my excercise and weight loss challenges. I'm trying not to think of it as an Biggest Loser type adventure, but more like the Biggest Winner opportunity. Feel free to keep up with my new posts. Hopefully, I can be an inspiration.
Thanks again for all your support. May all of you have a blessed Christmas and an amazing New Year!
We got into Vegas around 8:30 a.m. on Saturday, the day before the race. We checked in and then headed to the Expo. The Expo had some great vendors, Team Challenge, CytoMax, Cascade Farms, Nurti Life, Kinesio, and so many more. We had a great time collecting our gear and freebies and afterwards headed back to the hotel to chill. My great friend Nathan stopped by to visit. He had come in town from Vegas to cheer on me and a few other friends! Nathan, if your reading this, you are an awesome friend!! Thanks for being there!
Saturday night was the CCFA Pasta Party. There were over 900 participants from CCFA at the party. It was cool seeing all the Team Challenge shirts at the party and at the MGM where we were all staying. We ate a delicious dinner and listened to our guest speakers while we froze our butts off in the conference center. Little did we know that the party was just a warm up or should I say cool down for what was coming the next morning. The best part of the dinner was hearing that nationwide Team Challenge had raised $3.5 million for the Crohn's and Colitis Foundation. What a win and we hadn't even started the race yet!
Sunday morning came early. We were due to meet our team in the lobby at 5:00 a.m. As we rounded the corner to the lobby all you could see was a sea of orange singlets. Nine hundred Team Challenge participants gathered in the lobby waiting to head out to the starting line and their assigned corrals. The temperature outside was a smokin' 34 degrees. We were in for a chilly start. We layered on as many dri-fit shirts, jackets, and beanies as we had and headed to the starting line.
By the time we reached the start we had probably walked 5 miles over the last 24 hours. If only we could deduct that from the 13.1 we were about to tackle. The walk to the gear check was another mile and the way back was a traffic jam of spectators and other participants trying to get to their corrals. I had to cut through the closer corrals to get to mine or else I would miss my group. Another mile down! Unbelievably, I was able to find my teammates in the sea of participants. Almost forgot to tell you that there were 17,000 participants for the 1/2 marathon and another 11,000 for the full. Not even a boat-load, but rather an ark-load of people!
So my TC friends and I joked, danced, and goofed around until we reached the starting line. It was seriously colder than a polar bears ass and goofing around was the only thing keeping us warm. What was I thinking leaving my gloves at the gear check??!! The start came and went and we were on the road. It was a long 13.1 miles peppered by running Elvis, bands, brides and grooms to be, and a whole lot of Team Challenge supporters cheering us on. We even had the pleasure of watching a drunk guy wander out on the race course only to end up being put in handcuffs and escorted to a police car.
About mile 7 my teammate and favorite party girl Amanda started having some knee problem. Call me selfish, but there was no way I was going to let her quit. We stretched out and kept moving. By mile 9 there was no turning back. We'd stop to stretch and then back on the course. I figured why stop now! Four more miles to go. Piece of cake. The supporters cheering us on totally helped push us along. At mile 13 we ran into our coach Meegan. What a site for sore eyes, quads, hamstrings, you name it!
At the turn into Mandalay Bay we had about 2 tenths of a mile left. It was not long after that I saw Nate waiting near the finish line. My final boost of encouragement! Then we saw it - the finish!! We had done it. We had just completed a 13.1 mile race. What an amazing acheivement!
I headed to the gear check, picked up my gear and met up with Amanda and Nate. We walked over to the Team Challenge team tent for some food and drink from P.F. Changs. Afterwards we headed back to the hotel to rest. We had a big night ahead of us.
Our night out consisted of dinner at Sushi Samba and partying at Lavo in the Venetian. I can always count on Nate to show me a good time! Lavo was a blast. The marathoner's from San Diego met us out and we partied and danced 'til late. About $1,000 later (thank God for the comps Nate's friend hooked us up with) we decided we had better head back to the hotel for some shut eye.
Why is check out at 11:00 a.m.? In Vegas no less? Seriously, why?!! I dragged my ass out of bed, threw my stuff in my suitcase and headed for the lobby. After meeting up with some of our teammates, Amanda and I decided to do the CSI Experience. It was cheesy, but kind of cool. After CSI we stopped for a bite to eat and then off to the airport.
That was it. The weekend that I thought would never come had come and went. It was bitter sweet. Happy that I completed the race and had such an awesome weekend. Sad that I wouldn't see my teammates at practice each Saturday morning. I know that we'll keep in touch, but I'll definitely miss the comradarie that we had going out each Saturday morning at sunrise.
Thanks to my readers for keeping up with my adventures. I hope you've enjoyed my updates and pictures. I'd like to keep up the blog with my excercise and weight loss challenges. I'm trying not to think of it as an Biggest Loser type adventure, but more like the Biggest Winner opportunity. Feel free to keep up with my new posts. Hopefully, I can be an inspiration.
Thanks again for all your support. May all of you have a blessed Christmas and an amazing New Year!
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Training/Fundraising Update - Part VII
Hi all! I know it's been a while, but it's been a busy couple of weeks. I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. I had an awesome one. Nothing like cooking at home in your p.j.'s and watching movies with your son all day. It was so relaxing!
I have two pieces of good, no actually great news!! First, thanks to Prudential Matching Gifts I made my fund raising goal. I'm so happy and a big thanks to all of you that were able to donate and have been so supportive of my run!
The second piece of good news is that my recent colonoscopy came back clear. That's right, no inflammation! The probiotic did the trick. I'm still having some pain, but I'm working with a naturopath to see if we can nip that issue in the bud too.
So the race is three days away. I can't believe that Sunday I will be standing at the starting line with professional and casual runners alike. How about the fact that we are running down the Vegas strip?! I'm SO excited!!
Well, I have to sign off for now - lots to do. I promise I will update my blog with all the info from the race when I get back on Monday. Until then, have a great weekend and thanks again for all your support!!
I have two pieces of good, no actually great news!! First, thanks to Prudential Matching Gifts I made my fund raising goal. I'm so happy and a big thanks to all of you that were able to donate and have been so supportive of my run!
The second piece of good news is that my recent colonoscopy came back clear. That's right, no inflammation! The probiotic did the trick. I'm still having some pain, but I'm working with a naturopath to see if we can nip that issue in the bud too.
So the race is three days away. I can't believe that Sunday I will be standing at the starting line with professional and casual runners alike. How about the fact that we are running down the Vegas strip?! I'm SO excited!!
Well, I have to sign off for now - lots to do. I promise I will update my blog with all the info from the race when I get back on Monday. Until then, have a great weekend and thanks again for all your support!!
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Training/Fundraising Update - Part VII
What a long week! The worst thing about having Crohn's is one day you feel fine and then the next not so much.
Over the last week I've dealt with more pain than I've experienced in the past. It's sharp stabbing pain that comes and goes. I've really had to watch what I eat and drink this week since some things seem to make it worse. For example, I have suddenly developed lactose intolerance. The worst part is I have been SO tired. Most nights I've gone to bed between 8 and 9 and not woken up until 6. Also, I missed one training session and had to cut another one short, which was really hard for me to accept. I make every effort not to miss training or practice.
So, I think I'm going to call my doctor. I've been thinking about it for the last several weeks, I just have been putting it off. I'm trying to avoid having to take any kind of medication or having more tests, but I may just have to suck it up and deal.
OK, so the good news is that I finished the Phoenix New Times 10K today. It was a tough haul and at one point I seriously thought about cutting it short, but I didn't. I pushed through despite nausea and pain the last three miles.
I know, I know!! Enough whining already! Here's a few pics from the event.
I'm staying positive that this next week will be better. I'm excited to participate in the Aflac Iron Girl 3K next Sunday. My hope is that I'll do better in that race.
Well, ciao for now friends. Have a great week!
Over the last week I've dealt with more pain than I've experienced in the past. It's sharp stabbing pain that comes and goes. I've really had to watch what I eat and drink this week since some things seem to make it worse. For example, I have suddenly developed lactose intolerance. The worst part is I have been SO tired. Most nights I've gone to bed between 8 and 9 and not woken up until 6. Also, I missed one training session and had to cut another one short, which was really hard for me to accept. I make every effort not to miss training or practice.
So, I think I'm going to call my doctor. I've been thinking about it for the last several weeks, I just have been putting it off. I'm trying to avoid having to take any kind of medication or having more tests, but I may just have to suck it up and deal.
OK, so the good news is that I finished the Phoenix New Times 10K today. It was a tough haul and at one point I seriously thought about cutting it short, but I didn't. I pushed through despite nausea and pain the last three miles.
I know, I know!! Enough whining already! Here's a few pics from the event.
I'm staying positive that this next week will be better. I'm excited to participate in the Aflac Iron Girl 3K next Sunday. My hope is that I'll do better in that race.
Well, ciao for now friends. Have a great week!
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Training/Fundraising Update - Part VI
What a great couple of weeks!! The Poker Run was a blast. I didn't win any extra money, but had a great day with my family. With 16 days to go until the end of the fund raising, I'm definitely trying to stay positive. I'm over half way to my goal and I still have donations coming in. I know I can do it!
Speaking of "do it," I love Nike apparel. It all started with a little device called the Nike Sports Band and now I'm hooked. Running socks, pants, shirts and a jacket later I am beginning to build quite a Nike wardrobe. Dicks Sporting Goods has one of the best selections of gear. With the Dick's Score card and email coupons, I'm able to save a chunk of change on my purchases. Dick's is fast becoming one of my favorite stores!
You're probably wondering how the whole training is going. Well, I'm doing awesome! I completed three six mile and one nine mile workouts last week. This week it's three five mile workouts and a shorter Saturday workout with the team. Even though I've noticed a difference in the fit of my clothes, I'm finally seeing a difference on the scale. The most important part is that I feel great and have so much more energy.
A final note, a big congrats to Americans Meb Keflezighi and Ryan Hall who place 1st and 4th in the ING NYC Marathon on Sunday. This is the first time in 26 years that an American has won the marathon. What a statement for American long distance running!
Thanks to all my friends and family who have been able to donate to my cause. I'm so blessed to have your support!
Have a great week and check back soon...
Speaking of "do it," I love Nike apparel. It all started with a little device called the Nike Sports Band and now I'm hooked. Running socks, pants, shirts and a jacket later I am beginning to build quite a Nike wardrobe. Dicks Sporting Goods has one of the best selections of gear. With the Dick's Score card and email coupons, I'm able to save a chunk of change on my purchases. Dick's is fast becoming one of my favorite stores!
You're probably wondering how the whole training is going. Well, I'm doing awesome! I completed three six mile and one nine mile workouts last week. This week it's three five mile workouts and a shorter Saturday workout with the team. Even though I've noticed a difference in the fit of my clothes, I'm finally seeing a difference on the scale. The most important part is that I feel great and have so much more energy.
A final note, a big congrats to Americans Meb Keflezighi and Ryan Hall who place 1st and 4th in the ING NYC Marathon on Sunday. This is the first time in 26 years that an American has won the marathon. What a statement for American long distance running!
Thanks to all my friends and family who have been able to donate to my cause. I'm so blessed to have your support!
Have a great week and check back soon...
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Training/Fundraising Update - Part V
Wow!! The last two weeks have gone by fast. I just turned in my recommitment paperwork, which means I'm more determined than ever to meet my fund raising goal and to complete the 1/2 marathon. I bought my plane ticket on Friday, so now all I have left to do is continue to work towards my fund raising goal of $2200. I'm almost halfway there and with Prudential matching gifts I'm just short about $400. I know I can do it!
Had a scary experience during rowing last Monday. It was our first night on the shell (previously we had been practicing on a pontoon-like barge). An eight person shell is very long, maybe 20 ft long and very narrow - no more than 2 ft. across. Not to mention, very heavy - probably around 250 lbs. The first time getting into a shell is challenging to say the least, but add 30 mph wind gust and it's almost impossible. Thirty minutes on the water and I was pretty much convinced that we would all drown in the dark on that lake. Nevertheless, we all made it out alive; a little wet but alive. Wednesday was awesome on the lake and we really seem to be getting timing, balance, etc. together. Here's a couple of pics of where we row...
Running was challenging due to some knee issues and I ended up taking a week off. The amazing thing is that when I got back on the treadmill I cut my time by 22 seconds per mile. That combined with the 20 seconds per mile I chopped of my prior week's time brought me down to a 13 minute mile. Probably doesn't seem like a big deal to a profession runner, but for not having run in like 11 years it's a huge accomplishment for me. I've dropped my time from a 17 minute mile the first week to a 13 minute mile eight weeks later.
Thanks to everyone who has been able to support me during my training and fund raising. I wouldn't be able to do this without you all!
Stay tuned and have a great week!
Had a scary experience during rowing last Monday. It was our first night on the shell (previously we had been practicing on a pontoon-like barge). An eight person shell is very long, maybe 20 ft long and very narrow - no more than 2 ft. across. Not to mention, very heavy - probably around 250 lbs. The first time getting into a shell is challenging to say the least, but add 30 mph wind gust and it's almost impossible. Thirty minutes on the water and I was pretty much convinced that we would all drown in the dark on that lake. Nevertheless, we all made it out alive; a little wet but alive. Wednesday was awesome on the lake and we really seem to be getting timing, balance, etc. together. Here's a couple of pics of where we row...
Running was challenging due to some knee issues and I ended up taking a week off. The amazing thing is that when I got back on the treadmill I cut my time by 22 seconds per mile. That combined with the 20 seconds per mile I chopped of my prior week's time brought me down to a 13 minute mile. Probably doesn't seem like a big deal to a profession runner, but for not having run in like 11 years it's a huge accomplishment for me. I've dropped my time from a 17 minute mile the first week to a 13 minute mile eight weeks later.
Thanks to everyone who has been able to support me during my training and fund raising. I wouldn't be able to do this without you all!
Stay tuned and have a great week!
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Training/Fundraising Update - Part IV
Time to step up the fund raising!!
First I have to say thanks to everyone that has already donated to this great cause. This is an important time for me to really get on the ball and improve my fund raising efforts. I understand it's a tough time for everyone. The CCFA is such a great cause and if you're reading this you already know someone affected by the disease. My hope is that if I ever get really sick, that by that time there will be more advances in Crohn's medications or even a cure! It's through events like Team Challenge and the Rock-n-Roll 1/2 marathon that the CCFA will one day be able to find a cure.
Training is going really good. I'm running SO much more and getting faster with each workout. I know that in a short time I will be able to run 4 miles without stopping. To further motivate, I have signed up for five challenges through Nike.com. I'm participating in the Nike Human Race 10K, the Ambassadors Challenge, the 100 Mile Challenge, Nike T-shirt Challenge, and the Nike Shoe Challenge. Whew! That's a lot of challenges, huh! Some are easy, like the t-shirt challenge and some not so easy, like the 10K. I've already clocked 51 miles, so I figure I'll finish the 100 mile challenge in a few weeks. Yay! How awesome is that?! Who would have thought that this self-proclaimed "couch potato" would ever complete a 100 miles?! Crazy!!
OK, I'm finished patting myself on the back. Hey, if you don't toot your own horn who will?? I hope everyone is doing great. I appreciate all of your support and words of encouragement. Have an awesome week!
First I have to say thanks to everyone that has already donated to this great cause. This is an important time for me to really get on the ball and improve my fund raising efforts. I understand it's a tough time for everyone. The CCFA is such a great cause and if you're reading this you already know someone affected by the disease. My hope is that if I ever get really sick, that by that time there will be more advances in Crohn's medications or even a cure! It's through events like Team Challenge and the Rock-n-Roll 1/2 marathon that the CCFA will one day be able to find a cure.
Training is going really good. I'm running SO much more and getting faster with each workout. I know that in a short time I will be able to run 4 miles without stopping. To further motivate, I have signed up for five challenges through Nike.com. I'm participating in the Nike Human Race 10K, the Ambassadors Challenge, the 100 Mile Challenge, Nike T-shirt Challenge, and the Nike Shoe Challenge. Whew! That's a lot of challenges, huh! Some are easy, like the t-shirt challenge and some not so easy, like the 10K. I've already clocked 51 miles, so I figure I'll finish the 100 mile challenge in a few weeks. Yay! How awesome is that?! Who would have thought that this self-proclaimed "couch potato" would ever complete a 100 miles?! Crazy!!
OK, I'm finished patting myself on the back. Hey, if you don't toot your own horn who will?? I hope everyone is doing great. I appreciate all of your support and words of encouragement. Have an awesome week!
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